What to do about illegal imigration….

I have three theories on how we can stop the mass migration of illegal aliens into the US. Now I agree that we need an influx of new citizens in this country, but the numbers that are coming over are breaking this country.



My first proposal is to institute involuntary organ donation. When we catch you the first time we will take DNA and tissue samples. Then you go back across the border. The next time, we DNA test you again, and then you give up a part. It may be a lung lobe, it could be a kidney. It could even be your heart. It all depends on what the needs of the citizens of this country are. If we have a vet that needs a new leg, you just ran your ass here so yours must be in good shape, you are going to make a donation to the cause.



Then you go back. If you come across again, back to the lab and out comes another part. If you make it thru that surgery and back across the border, we get one more piece and you are a citizen. You have now given enough of yourself to be a US Citizen.



My second plan is when you come across, if you are of age, you get drafted into the military. After a 6 year enlistment in a combat zone you and your immediate family (who have been working in the migrant farms under the watchful eye of new US Citizens fresh from Iraq) are all now citizens. If you get killed, they all go to Mexico City where she can find a new daddy for the kids and give it another try. It boosts the numbers in the military and will give your family a real appreciation of what it means to give in order to be an American.



Finally, we need to close the border immediately and open classes on how to be border guards. Then we go down to the home depot grab up all the able bodied men and train them as border guards. They get paid $4 an hour and a bounty on every illegal they catch trying to come across. If they get caught helping illegals come across, they get sent home and that new illegal gets trained to take his place. Any illegal that makes it across is encouraged to report to the nearest border patrol station and dime out the guard he got past. If he can show management where he came across, that guard is back home and the new guy takes his place. After a two year stint on the border, they become citizens and their immediate family can come over.



Maybe a plan that somehow incorporates a bit of all three plans would provide the most flexibility and prove to be more effective.


8 Responses to “What to do about illegal imigration….”

  1. Beansimple Says:

    How’s this: institute a draft for BORDER PATROL AGENTS and put 50,000 agents armed and ready on the southern border, four year enlistment with benefits upon discharge similar to military benefits offered by military? They should be given arrest powers as well as rules of engagement that will allow them to fire on armed invaders. If that doesn’t turn them back, there’ll be a lot more transplant donors available.

  2. Long Goody Says:

    Nuther idea: Come up with a personal IFF then declare the a free fire zone for the southern twenty miles of the States. On second thought make that the northern twenty miles of Mexico

  3. Good ideas all, but once the Senate and House got through with them, you wouldn’t be able to recognise them.

    Hell, it would make no difference anyway, because they wouldn’t enforce them any better than the laws we have now.

    Buy more Ammo.

    Papa Ray
    West Texas

  4. Nice plan. But have you considered what consequences will come about if your plan is implemented? Not everything is as cut and dry as it may appear.

  5. americanchaos Says:

    If you put tough sanctions on employers and landlords and cut off all the free benefits and services, fix the 14th Amendment to it’s original intent they will go home on their own.

  6. The Copper Jacket Curtain? Says:

    I have a better idea. How about we make it a Berlin Wall x 100. We can hire all of the illegals construction workers to help us build a 25 ft high, 25 ft. deep reinforced concrete wall. On each side of the wall there will be a “no man’s land”. which will be a 300-yard stretch of sheer terror. The first 100 yards will be booby traps with bamboo shaft laced pits and bear traps. The next 100 yards will be laced with all sorts of barb and razor wire and anti-personnel mines. Then, the last 100 yards will be open and flat allowing the illegals a chance at a dead run for the wall. They will then, of course, be open targets for the machine gun towers, which are spaced every 50 yards. We can even add some German shepherd dog patrols and hire German migrants to man the towers, just for the dramatic effect. Then, all of the illegals that helped build this modern marvel will simply be ushered to the proper side of the wall and given 1 minute to run back to Mexico before they are shot. That would deal of 50% of them right then and there.

  7. since my wife live there in USA ,I cann’t live here alone !Please give me the way

  8. gundoctor Says:

    I vote for the second plan. That would give them a legal way to be here yet allow us to get something out of them for not crossing legally. And dont for get if Mr. boarder jumper gets killed we got the benifit of his military service and the rest of them get sent back decreasing our illegal immigrant problem. Everyone’s a winner.

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